Changing behaviors isn’t easy. In fact, it can seem downright impossible a times. It’s so hard to alter people’s behavior that the common wisdom is that people simply don’t change, so don’t bother trying.
Of course, that’s total nonsense. People change all the time. In fact, people rarely stay the same in their opinions, their behavior, or their life. Humans actually have wildly elastic minds and hearts that can and do shift all the time.
I see it in my work. In addition to being a professional trainer, I’m also a social worker. I currently work with people with developmental disabilities and behavioral issues. When our clients come to us, many other people have given up on them. Some may seem like lost causes. But our teams know that if we meet people where they are and understand who our clients are, what they have endured, and what they are capable of, we can often change their lives. We can help them transform from self-destructive into productive citizens who actually make positive contributions to society.
As a professional trainer, I often work with employees who come to us with little experience in the human services field. Through thorough training, we help these new hires transform into skilled social workers to help developmentally disabled adults grow and thrive. I like to hope that my training also provides some useful tips to help our employees in their lives outside of work.
The employee training techniques we use can be applied to a range of situations in other fields and even at home. If you want to change the behavior of someone around you, try these strategies.
Consistent Message
What are you trying to say? How are you trying to say it? Start by carefully defining your message and creating a language that expresses it precisely. Once you have a well-expressed message, stick with it. Avoid changing it or adding to it. For example, if you want your team to plan for extra-long days on Tuesdays, stick with it. Heavy up your Tuesday workloads. Limit long hours to Tuesdays only. Avoid switching it to Wednesdays or Fridays – ever. And avoid adding duties or conditions on top of the long hours mandate. For example, avoid adding that you want them to be quieter or work faster on Tuesdays.
The same applies to the personal behaviors of those in your life. If you want your teenager to do the dishes on Tuesday nights, have them do them every Tuesday. Keep away from switching it around when it’s more convenient or adding duties like making beds or emptying trash. The best way to get your child to complete a chore consistently is to assign the same task over and over, without variation from you or them.
Share Information in Steps or Stages
When we’re training staff, we break out all information into steps or stages. We intentionally break the data up into easy-to-learn nuggets. Dividing complicated work into a series of simple tasks increases confidence and improves the chances of success.
And this strategy also works well in helping people change behaviors outside of a training environment. If you want a co-worker to start closing up the office, start by making a checklist. Break the process down into a set of small, easy-to-accomplish tasks. Walk them through each step individually, even if it seems small and simple. “The key goes here” and “Shut off the bathroom lights” may seem like no-brainers to you, but writing them down makes the process easier for your co-worker and increases the chances that they’ll complete every step correctly.
The same process can be used if you want your friend to take care of your home or dog while you’re gone. Creating a checklist of things to do and when to do them makes it easier for someone else to feel comfortable caring for your home or pup in your absence.
Avoid Overload
Breaking tasks into steps and stages is one way to avoid overload, but it’s also wise to avoid assigning too many new tasks in a short period. Even if each task is simple, asking people to change behavior too quickly is a recipe for failure. In my training sessions, we teach employees a few lessons at a time, adding skills and information in a series of classes over a period of several hours. We practice the skill in class, ask people to demonstrate, and make it fun while we do it. Mastering one skill before adding another is a smart way to increase confidence and competence without overwhelming.
For example, once your co-worker has successfully closed up the office, you can add the task of inventorying and ordering office supplies. Once they understand how office supplies work, you can add building maintenance duties to their roster.
The same technique applies to the teenager doing dishes. Once they show mastery of doing dishes one night a week, you can add a load of laundry to the mix. Allowing them to get used to completing one task consistently before adding another reduces the perceived time burden.
The Teacher is at Fault, not the Student
Sometimes we try to teach a new behavior or skill, and it doesn’t stick. At this point, our instincts tell us that our trainee is stubborn, dumb, not paying attention, or careless. But the truth is that if your trainee is capable of learning, this is the time to analyze your methods. What are you, as the teacher or trainer, doing? How can you approach this problem differently? What learning method would be simpler, more enjoyable, or easier for the student to internalize?
Common barriers to learning include:
- The scope of the task is not clear. What, exactly, do you want the trainee to learn?
- The scope is confusing. Does the trainee know what is expected of them? What is included in their task? What is excluded? How much time should it take? What steps are involved? How does the trainee know when the job is successfully completed?
- Expectations are inconsistent. What is expected of the trainee? Is the same thing expected every time? Avoid expectations that they should get better/faster/more competent over time. Instead, add expectations for improvement once they have mastered the core task.
- Techniques are confusing. Some people learn visually. Some learn audibly. Others need to learn by doing. Your job as a trainer is to understand how your trainees learn and help them find the best path to successfully mastering the task.
- The task is too complex. If the trainee starts well but gets “lost” in the task or doesn’t complete it, the problem may be complexity. Make sure you’ve broken the task down into steps and make it clear that each step must be completed to achieve success.
- The trainer is too intimidating. People who fear failure are more likely to fail. Trainers who instill fear, intentionally or unintentionally, make it harder for trainees to succeed. That’s why I’m a big fan of smiling, having fun, and being okay with initial failures. Creating a fun and accepting training culture is conducive to learning. In other words, smile and laugh together! It’s contagious, and it helps your team relax and learn.
I always assess the room to find the person or persons who appear to have strong self-confidence and will sometimes be playful with them to get the shy attendees to become more comfortable with class participation. It’s worked for 30 years, and I have had full participation in my training sessions every time. If a participant is struggling, I will ask the class if anyone can provide a suggestion. Once the suggestion has been made, I might go back to the struggling attendee with a different scenario and ask them to answer. I might sit close and say to them, “You can do it. I believe in you. We all do.” The power of group support is amazing. In every scenario, I ask the class, did you think to answer the same way? Do you understand why that is not the correct response in this situation? I let attendees know that the problem or scenario was created as a trick question so they don’t feel bad for “getting it wrong.” We use every moment as a chance to learn.
Bonus Tip: Celebrate Victories
Want to get your trainees (or your co-worker or your family) to learn faster and perform more consistently? Then embrace the power of positive reinforcement. Always, always, celebrate good performance. Recognize exceptional mastery. Thank people for a job well done.
When people know they are doing a great job, they are more likely to repeat it. When they see that you appreciate their efforts, they are more likely to continue to strive to perform. At the end of the day, training is about teaching and rewarding. So don’t hold back on praise.