After working for over ten years with individuals often termed victims or survivors, the lightbulb went off, and I thought, “Wait! If I change the behavior of the perpetrator, there will be fewer victims?” Oh, I wanted to be a part of that solution. One thing led to another, and next thing you know, I’m working in a program serving intellectually disabled offenders in the area. This became my personal passion–preventing future abuse. It’s what led me to found Community Integrated Services (CIS) in Washington State.
It’s also been a surprise that interacting with the people that most of society doesn’t want to deal with has turned out to be the most rewarding work of my life. While some of my previous jobs drained me, this one feeds my soul. Why is that?
Ironically, even though this is some of the most challenging work I can imagine doing, it has also allowed me to discover the joy in work. And much of that has come from learning how to find joy in any job. Happiness comes from watching the individuals we support at CIS evolve into their greater being; from the things I do and the things the people around me are doing.
Secrets to Finding joy in Your Work
People who dread going to work see it as a punishment: a “chore.” But I focus on the positive, long-term impact of my work. Whether you are working with intellectually disabled offenders or selling ice cream from a truck, your work has real meaning. What you do for work is a way to plant seeds to help another life beyond yours to grow and develop. No matter which career you choose (or the career that chooses you), it’s essential to approach your work as a service that others want, that people need, and that helps society. Yes, it’s easier to figure out how this applies to social services, but everyone’s work, done well, has real value and helps the greater good. Think about how the stability many have found during the pandemic has been resting on the contributions of the essential workforce.
At CIS, our programs and our approach are designed to help clients evolve into contributing members of society instead of taking from society. When things get tough (and they do), I keep reminding myself of what we’re here to do and how it makes the world better.
SECRET 1: Keep Perspective on Your True Situation
It’s easy to get overwhelmed at any job or feel hopeless, cheated, overlooked, or unfairly criticized. When that happens at CIS, I take a breath and re-evaluate my perspective. Myself, and most of the people who work at CIS, came into this world with a leg up. No one has a perfect life, but if you have ever been loved, have good friends, have average intelligence, are in reasonably good health, and can earn a living, you have gifts beyond measure.
The folks we work with at CIS were born with disabilities, sometimes a myriad of genetic issues, and physical or mental challenges. In short, they truly came into this world with a leg down. Plus, on top of that, some of them have a mental illness, were physically abused, or sexually traumatized. Their histories are often tragic.
Take a moment and consider your true place in the world and the gifts you came here with before you spiral over less-than-perfect schedules, a lousy parking spot, a boss who doesn’t recognize your achievements, or inadequate vacation time. Stop, take stock of your life and your gifts and re-evaluate how dire your job issues are in light of the bigger picture. I’m not telling you that your problems aren’t real, but I am telling you to put them in a metaphorical box and limit the emotional energy you spend on the small stuff.
SECRET 2: Don’t be Afraid to Take on the Hard Jobs
Like it or not, easy jobs rarely deliver satisfaction. If your work doesn’t challenge you, think about ways to expand your duties. In almost any company, there are “hard” or “dirty” jobs that most people don’t want to tackle. However, learning, growing, and conquering new challenges is one of the surest ways to find personal and professional satisfaction.
One of the reasons people stay at CIS is that they enjoy challenging work. I spend time training every new employee at CIS–I look into their eyes and make sure they understand precisely what kind of clients we work with. This is hard stuff. We work with clients with a variety of issues, including sex offenders, so I want to be sure that our staff fully understand how to interact with those folks.
While our employees’ training focuses on keeping clients, staff, and our communities safe, it also helps them learn to be more successful with coworkers and even their own family members. They get a new set of tools that will help them understand how to take care of people, have clearer boundaries, notice signs of trouble, and implement valuable mitigation techniques.
Working at CIS can be a real challenge, but our employees know they are accomplishing things. They are succeeding where others may fail—navigating situations that others avoid. You can’t feel triumph if you stick to the easy stuff, so dig in and challenge yourself. Get tired. Wear yourself out a bit. Do things others are unwilling to do.
I heard an example recently about a manager who hired a handful of employees and when everyone came to work the first day, they were all dressed up, looking fresh. By the end of the day, all of them looked tired, sweaty, and disheveled. But there was one new hire who looked as fresh as the day began. The manager determined to fire that fresh-looking employee because it was evident that they didn’t do the hard work the job entailed.
SECRET 3: Don’t Take bad Behavior Personally
No matter what you do or where you do it, you’re going to encounter negativity. From your boss, your co-workers, or even from the people you serve. However, hurtful behavior rarely has anything to do with you personally (even if you’ve made a mistake and they’re berating you for that error).
At CIS, we often have clients who yell at us, tell us they hate us or that they hate CIS, but when we break it down, we find out the anger is usually associated with something else that happened–a family member canceled a visit or their paycheck is less than they had expected (darned taxes). As people working in social services, it’s a bit easier for us to dig a little deeper and find out what’s really going on.
We seek to meet negativity with redirection and positivity, which is part of helping our clients evolve into a contributing part of society. And by depersonalizing negative emotions directed at us, we’re able to move through our day.
I like to tell our staff about a toy that used to be advertised on TV; it was this ball of slime that would be thrown at the wall, and it would slowly ooze down the wall. I tell them to imagine that they are the wall and when a client yells at them and calls them mean names, imagine that the slime is those words just falling off of them. Our team is reminded that the hurt coming at them is NOT about them; it’s hurt the client feels and is projecting outward in an attempt to feel more in control. That shift in perspective is a simple yet powerful tool to stay focused on the bigger picture.
Keep in mind that hurtful behavior in the workplace often stems from a previous injury or anxiety about outside issues, not your job performance. That’s why it’s so essential to depersonalize negativity. When you meet bad behavior calmly and positively, most people eventually reciprocate with positivity. Even toxic coworkers can’t do as much damage when you deflect negativity with a pleasant, professional demeanor.
SECRET 4: Intentionally and Methodically Manifest joy
Any workplace can be hard at times. Sometimes people are inconsiderate or even intentionally hurtful. They insult you or don’t treat you with respect. But if your mission is to be a force for good, you’ll find that you attract other positive people.
At CIS, we talk a lot about our mission to give clients a reason to experience joy and be happy. We are collectively dedicated to giving them a life worth living. Many have done bad things in the past–and they can be challenging to interact with. Some are not inherently “likable,” but even the most challenging person has a tiny little pilot light of goodness that just needs the right amount of oxygen to bring itself forward into being.
SECRET 5: Find a job That has Meaning to You
I’m kind of what you would call a spiritual person, and I believe that we are doing God’s work here at CIS. We are working with individuals who most people don’t want to deal with–folks with disabilities and offenders who have done great harm to others. And in any religion, we learn that all people have value and purpose. We can take people who have done really bad things and change their lives to become contributing members of society versus someone who takes away. That is gratifying work for me, but it’s not for everyone.
If you can’t find a higher meaning in your work, you either have to look harder or find work you can believe in. A marketing friend told me she likes her career because marketing dollars support the inexpensive distribution of creative work, including TV shows, magazines, blogs, YouTube, and even sponsored art exhibits. A pal who works at a sanitation facility likes his job because he gets to promote more effective recycling and keep neighborhoods clean and healthy at the same time. A bankruptcy lawyer friend enjoys his career because he can help people who are lost in debt to rethink their finances and rebuild their lifelong approach to debt.
Long-term effects and benefits aren’t always easy to find, but they’re usually there. Jobs exist because they serve a need. Employees are part of fulfilling that need. Find your work’s larger purpose and embrace it wholeheartedly. And if you can’t find any redeeming qualities for your work, look for work that you are proud to do.
SECRET 6: Smile More. Laugh Often.
Sounds obvious, but look around you. Are people smiling? Even serious work requires a positive, upbeat attitude to keep yourself and those around you motivated. And psychology tells us that humans are hard-wired to cheer up when they see a smile, so your smiles make the people around you happier, making your job easier. This is challenging during COVID times when our smiles are behind a mask. But remember that your eyes light up when you smile. Use your arms or hands to make a gesture of kindness along with your bright eyes, and your smile will make it past the mask.
Ditto for laughing. While it may not be appropriate to joke around all day, do take time to laugh and make others laugh. It’s the very definition of joy. In fact, I am quick to make myself the “butt” of any joke if it will make my clients laugh.